oh, roland.

lately i’ve been housebound writing graduate school essays. i’ve been reading lots of really boring philosophers and sociologists in an effort to back up what i’m talking about. currently i’m writing my last essay (due on tuesday) about found photography. i’ve been looking at a lot of photographs on isthisyou.co.uk and thinking about people’s inspirations for their endeavours.

being stuck in a house with a laptop, a mound of books and way too much cold coffee has reminded me of how much energy i get from the city around me. and how many ideas. while i’m also inspired by the kind emails from people i haven’t met (yet), there’s something to be said about the collage that comes before me on the street. how people weave through each other and how you sometimes meet people and see aspects of yourself in them. the mystery and the beauty of it all is incredible. my own inspiration comes from those moments where my mind is idle and my eyes alert.

i’ve been reading a lot of barthes, and found this quote especially poignant,

What is the “you” you might or might not look like? Where do you find it- by which morphological or expressive calibration? Where is your authentic body? You are the only one who can never see yourself except as an image; you never see your eyes unless they are dulled by the gaze they rest upon the mirror or the lens (I am interested in seeing my eyes only when they look at you): even and especially for your own body, you are condemned to the repertoire of its images. (from Roland Barthes by Roland Barthes)

even though we can only see ourselves as an image, we do give a little part of ourselves to everything we make. as we try and make sense of who we are, we create, giving tiny pieces of ourselves away in the process. we may only be able to see ourselves via reflection, but i’d argue that the ‘real you’ could be found in those creations that you make. disregarding the fact that your hair or teeth may not be perfect, you become embodied via the works emanating from your own two hands.