Lately, I’ve a bad case of the “enoughs.” I’m not brave enough, smart enough, thin enough. I’m not pretty enough, tough enough, cool enough. I’m a million different things, but not “enough” of any of them. Whenever the “enoughs” strike, I’m forced to realign where I’m going and how I want to get there. (See a post from the last time the “enoughs” hit here.) The “enoughs” are not discriminatory or unique to me, battling the “enoughs” is a part of being human. They’re a part of humanity that we don’t often let the world see because in this age of bigger and better and richer, to not be enough of something equals failure. But I am enough, even as I battle the “enoughs!” It’s only in the battle and admission of it, that we can gain ground.
It is in the swinging and struggling and searching and attempts to achieve against our own negative thoughts and those of others that we learn the compassion and the empathy and the depth that it takes to be fully alive. And ironically, the very battles that make us more human and more understanding and more compassionate are the very battles we tend to hide, only wanting to show our best sides and behaviors. The giant flaw of this logic being, of course, is that it’s our weakest sides that make us who we truly are.
It’s our vulnerabilities and quirks that help us foster closeness, not just our strengths. Our fight to be “enough” and fear of not adding up lock horns and call a stalemate. What a wicked irony that what can connect us best is what we fear disclosing most, as without disclosure we’re only sharing self-edited versions of ourselves, not actually our selves at all?
I was reminded of the trick to silencing the “enoughs” this morning when a friend of mine emailed me a link to the work of micro sculptor Willard Wigan. As a result of severe dyslexia, Wigan can neither read nor write, but he found a teeny tiny outlet for communication and creativity outside of those cultural expectations. He battled the “enoughs,” ignored the constructs that got in his way and embraced his skills, allowing for a landing just where he was supposed to be. I’ve met some people who could neither read nor write who tried to hide it, ashamed of the fact, when disclosing it would have led to creative problem solving or help instead of mockery.
And why yes, that is Cassius Clay and Sonny Liston duking it out in a boxing ring smaller than the head of a match. Refusing to ignore his creative side and refusing to believe others who doubted his intelligence, Wigan has discovered an incredible talent and an unending font of patience via his artwork. He makes sculptures, sculptures that are so tiny, that he has at least on one occasion,
inhaled his work and had to start all over again. In fact,
his sculptures are so amazing that I can’t stop sneaking a peek at them as I’m typing, trying to get my head completely around their awesomeness. (I mean, really, when was the last time you saw sculptures of Snow White and her seven dwarves showcased inside the head a pin?!)
In allowing himself to step outside of what was culturally expected of him, Wigan took the path towards becoming enough and found his life’s work on the way. In daring to look outside the mainstream construct of enough, Wigan redefined it by devising his own limits and goals instead of letting others set them. He is a reminder of how to follow your own path even though you don’t know where your next step will fall, in the belief that that net will appear. He is a reminder of how we are all enough– despite cultural definitions. we just need to heed the urge to seek it, fight it, and trust its wisdom.
You are enough, you just seek it, find it, define it own your own terms, in order to keep the “enoughs” at bay.
1. For the disbelievers, you can verify it here.
2. A big thanks to The Guardian for including me on their techonology blog roll today!
