When I was in 10th grade in 1990, one of our assignments was to do a report on an artist, someone we admired. I remember that everyone else chose people like John Lennon or Jerry Garcia, and I chose Keith Haring, who I had read about in Sassy magazine. That was the moment when I truly realized that people are emboldened and intrigued and excited about pushing the envelope, speaking up for what you believe in, for following what makes your heart skip a beat and question the big picture all at the same time.

In 1996, Keith Haring: Journals was published by Penguin Putnam in a building I would work in 5 years later. Reading his journals, while in one sense voyeuristic, gave me the permission and planted the seed to create without fear or worry. I think lately I’ve been caught up in so many things that I forgot that fierceness and joy that comes with not being afraid or worried. Somehow I got wrapped up in external chaos that had me doubting and unsure and therefore, idle. I stopped listening to me and got caught up in the thoughts of everyone else leaving me apprehensive and afraid. So, in case you might need this reminder, too, I thought I’d share the bit from one of his entries from October 1, 1979, I have circled, with a star:

THINKING ABOUT BOXES
WHAT DOES IT MEAN
TO MAKE “GOOD” ART?
MEANING IS A
PRESUPPOSITION OF FUNCTION.
WITTGENSTEIN.
WHO CARES IF YOU DO
OR DON’T. SOMEONE
IS IN THE SUBWAY
TALKING TO THEMSELF.
TALKING ABOUT
TALKING. TALKING
ABOUT NOBODY
LISTENING. WHO CARES
IF YOU “MAKE” ART.
WHAT IS “MAKING”?
SEEING IS MAKING
ONLY IF SOMEONE
IS SEEING. THE PERSON
IN THE SUBWAY
IS SCREAMING, “NOBODY
IS LISTENING,” BUT
EVERYONE IS LISTENING
AND SEEING AND
MAKING AND BEING.

Thirteen years later after making that star and circling those words, I come back to them as my cat always picks his Journals to knock off the bookshelf when she’s hungry. Morning after morning, I pick up Keith Haring’s Journals and put it back on the shelf, even though I haven’t opened the book itself in over a decade.

Yesterday I decided to not put it back on the bookshelf, and this morning I decided to have a look at the passages that had moved me back when I was 21. This passage jumped out because it speaks to how everyone “makes” and “sees.” Elementary? Yes. But I think sometimes we forget the importance of “making” even if we think no one is “seeing” it. Because just like the person screaming on the subway, we all have deep currents of thought running underneath that are, from the outside, invisible.

Therefore, we never know who truly “sees” our work and how it resonates. We only see the person screaming on the subway or hear “Nobody is listening” in our own heads. We forget that our creations have nothing to do with either of those things. They have to do with the “making,” which leads to our “seeing” the deepest and most loveliest truths of “being.” We “make” because we “see” through the cracks and perceptions of “being.” We “see” because we “make.” So we step can forward fearlessly and safely into that place and create, knowing that it allows us to truly feel the depth and weight and joy of “being.”