I have this photo of Bikini Kill on my desktop right now.
It’s been a nice reminder back to the days of singing along to 7″s up in my room, when it seemed like music could really, honestly change the world.
Lately, as part of talking about the book, I’ve been mentioning more and more about what inspired me when I was younger. I didn’t realize it at the time, but when I discovered bands like Bikini Kill and record labels like Dischord and K Records, I was beginning to think independently of my peers, my family, the media. Not that I was necessarily disagreeing with them, just that I was beginning to form my own opinions and theories and ideas. I was beginning to understand that there were options and different routes to take and adventures to be had.
Tonight, I had an event at the lovely Quail Ridge Books and was reminded of all the energy and possibilities I felt were possible way back in those early days. It was a delightful experience with what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow” where the conversation and questions were organic and people were telling me about the most incredible fiber and creative work they have been doing.
It was a moment I couldn’t have ever imagined jumping around in my bedroom shouting along with Huggy Bear’s “Her Jazz,” undoubtedly my favorite song of that era. During those moments of discovering that it’s okay to question and dream and journey, I wondered if I would ever meet anyone else would feel the same way. I mean, I knew they were out there, I just didn’t know how to find them.
Somehow, I guess I got lucky, because all of these amazingly awesome smart, crafty and interesting people keep coming into and enriching my life for the past few years with their conversations, far flung knowledge, skills and ideosyncrasies. Each and every one of them makes me glad I kept singing loud and questioning and asking and dreaming and wondering all those days alone and didn’t stop, because now it’s not just me and my 7″s. I just never would have guessed I needed all those years of fighting and yelling and questioning and feeling alone in order to find them.
Speaking of lovely people, if you missed my interview with KPFK earlier this evening, you can find the podcast for the December 10 show here! There are 3 great interviews on before me, and then I’m on around 40 minutes in! Thanks so much, Feminist Magazine!