Lately I’ve been thinking about the paths people take. Are we conditioned to take certain roads? Expected to go one direction instead of another? If we diverge from one path does that make us disingenuous or impulsive or foolish?

As I look at my options ahead of me, the safe and secure path versus a less stable (but possibly more rewarding if it works out), I wonder about all the people I talk to who hate their jobs, their lives, their situations. How did they get there? Hell, how did I get here?

I do know that I would not be moving forward if it wasn’t for my friends (many of whom are linked at the right)- their encouragement, their wisdom, their advice. Everytime I turn on the television (generally a mistake in and of itself), the channels are full of sitcoms and dramas about people who don’t quite know how they got to the present. Such a sign of cultural malaise frightens me.

Because if that is your life, then you go to a job you hate, come home and turn on the television to drown out the 9-5 grind, only to be pacified by a simulacrum of your life, only you’re watching someone else at work acting the part of a character who is living a life much like you. Somehow it doesn’t seem like much compensation or reprieve, especially as they are getting paid more per episode than your yearly salary.

More and more craft friends of mine are throwing in the towel, while many keep on making the world a more adorable place. And I wonder if soon even more will will quit, feeling like that path has run its course and has ended unceremoniously. But that’s the quagmire, isn’t it? Running with what inspires you now, even if you’re uncertain that you will continue down this particular road forever. Because who knows what you’re going to discover along the way.

As a kid, there was no question. My life was going to go like this: High school. College. Job. Marriage. Kids. Grandkids. Retirement somewhere sunny with canasta and floral shirts.

But it hasn’t quite panned out like that. And ludicrously, I feel like I failed along the way because I haven’t lived up to some contrived notion of my life that was scripted for me while I was still in the womb. Everyone else in my family had done the same, so that was how it was going to be.

And most of my summer has been me struggling with the question of ‘who’s right?’ So I apply for jobs and then some more jobs and find myself become more entranced by art and research and conceptual ideas.

Last weekend I flipped through my high school yearbook at a friend’s house. I looked at all the familiar faces and thought about how we used to ask one another, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ I was never quite sure. Flipping through pages of the past I wondered where all of those people are now. If they’re on the right path or have found their life’s calling or have valued their hearts and dreams instead of financial security.

All I know is that in starting several art projects lately I’ve felt less contradicted about where I’m going and more sure of the fact that I’m the one navigating. For better or for worse. And writing all of this here is less of a confessional, and more because I know for a fact that I’m not the only one feeling this way right now.

I just wanted to let you know that it’s not just you.

work/shop:

As I have mentioned here before, I am working on a crafters documentary project. I am still trying to wrestle with the best way to present everything, but in the meantime, I thought I would post some details:

Who: crafters/artists/makers who create with DIY ethics in mind, and either sell their wares or participate in political/ethical projects with them.

What: two photographs (either two vertical or two horizontal, will be cropped around 300ppi or 350- one self-portrait, one of your workspace/creations), a little bit about yourself (name, age, location, website, statement about why you do what you do)

Where: eventually, it will be up here in photo format. originally i was planning a road trip to personally document everyone, but maybe one day?

Why: because via the internet we have formed a giant web of DIY ethics and creativity that spans the globe. even though some of us have met face-to-face, many of us have not. i want to document who we are. because even though i may email you and support you, i may not recognize you if we passed on the street. it’s time to show the strength of community, and the numbers of individuals who are creating things each and every day to fight mass production and to strengthen uniquity and creativity.

How: email me your photos and statements or if you have any questions. as i’m moving (again) and things will be a bit hectic, i’ll be accepting photos until late August.

friday links!

*You could do a whole lot worse than spending the rest of the afternoon reading DIY or Else. Go ahead. It’s Friday!

*Go check out Bugbear. A whole site dedicated to “the similarities between computers and knitting!!” Hot damn!

*Mark Horowitz is incredible. His Coffee in the Park project makes me happier than anything I’ve seen in ages. Totally my biggest and newest crush. Too adorable. Really. ….I wonder if he likes Lionel Richie?

*Did you know that you can make your own tempeh? This woman is my new heroine! from now on, every night is tempeh night!

*The photography of Chris Jordan makes me want to take more roadtrips…. any pay more attention.

*Even though most people disagree with me on this, I actually adore airline meals (for the ridiculous way they’re all compartmentalized! And so happy that there’s a website devoted to them!

*If you know how to use your sewing machine, you should check out Sew Betsy Ross, and not just because of the wonderful name, either!

*I think everyone should aspire to make a stuffed animal everyday for 365 days. Especially if they’re cool ones.

*I love You Ain’t No Picasso, and not just because of the myriad indie covers, either.

*Because everyone needs to have a sense of humor, You Knit What? reminds me why I’m so afraid to show my knitted creations when I go “outside of the pattern.” (And then makes me snicker.)

Actually a more correct title for this would be, “Got my (extreme lack of) money on my mind, and my (near to non-existent amount of) money on my mind, but I digress.

Lately I’ve been in contact with numerous farmers in regards to setting up some sort of apprenticeship or work agreement at a farm where I could learn traditional textile techniques. While I have established some amazing contacts, it has been a somewhat disheartening project at times.

While it’s no surprise that the cost of wool has plummeted, and that farming is hard work, I’ve been saddened to hear from individuals who are struggling to keep their farms going. Like one farmer, who writes that his farm: “operates either at a loss or, in a good year, with only a minuscule profit. We are only able to keep the company going by subsidizing it heavily through our other enterprises. We have kept it going as [my wife] is determined, as you are, to maintain the craft. We sell, on average, just one [knitted item] a week.” And another who notes, “We (like many other small farms) can’t afford to employ anyone – even ourselves.”

Nothing makes me happier than people have a passion for something. Some subject or notion or project that makes them come alive, eager to learn and wide-eyed. When I was working with troubled teens many years ago, the best part of my job was when they would enthusiastically yell, “Wow! Cool!” or “That is so neat!” (or given the time and place it was usually, “Wicked, innit?!”) The kids went from individuals just going through the motions to pure energy lit within. Years later, this reaction is my most cherished in other people, a reaction that is purely based of joy, honesty and interest.

During my own job hunt, I keep running into others in the same predicament who have the same soulless look in their eyes, somewhat like last call at the bar, only slightly less creepy and desperate- more disheartened and rejected. I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall, applying for job after job only to hear little. Somewhere along the line we all have seemed to have lost that spark of interest, that pure flash of fascination. A spark that diminishes with each CV and cover letter…

Until we remember what we’re intrigued by.

Then all bets are off.

I have made a little bit of headway in finding people to possibly work with for various lengths of time, which has been a great start. But I know that nonetheless, there is little that I can do to make the money worries (my own and that of others) go away. I know that I could constantly remind myself of the old adage that goes, “do what you love and the money will follow.”

I just wish that this adage had proved itself as sage advice to all the amazing people I know who are perpetually in debt… doing what they love. And still see little light at the end of the tunnel…until that spark of fascination comes roiling back reminding us of new project ideas and ventures and possibilities.

Perhaps the money will one day come. I wish that traditional textile techniques were recognized as more valuable, but who needs to know how to knit when you got machines and modernity, right?! I also wish that following your heart would equal an increase in one’s bank account, but I guess a girl can dream and keep her eyes open for that moment when someone dear shouts, “Wicked, innit?” and remember that there is more than life to financial gain. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about art instead of listening to music. I’m especially enamoured with harrell fletcher and ellie harrison, whose work makes me happy.

Even though London is never very far from my heart, it has been on my mind a lot lately given the nature of recent events. I remember wearing long-sleeved shirts for several days in July last year, thankful for every not hot-as-hell moment. I can’t help but think of last summer this summer, when it’s so sweltering that even doing something as simple as making coffee seems a chore.

With the window air conditioning unit blaring in the front room along with a fan blowing some reprieve down the hall to the back rooms with the ceiling fans, it’s overly loud in my apartment. Add to that music turned up to a reasonable level (at the moment, Bjork’s Medulla, an album that gets more magical and beautiful the more I hear it) and I keep missing phone calls due to the current noise level.

Such heat turns me into a full-fledged night owl, operating at my best when the sun turns down and the heat abates somewhat. After sunset in the summer is somewhat magical to me, not just for the fireflies and the cicadas, but for the way that for the first time all day you can run barefoot and the ground seems cool and for the stillness in the air that lingers like the humidity.

As a child, I spent most of my summers at camp (and as a young adult working at camp) in the North Carolina mountains. I can still remember the peace that existed late at night on the way to the communal bathrooms, tiptoeing along a well-worn path, enveloped by the sounds of frogs and bugs, freed by the light of the stars. After a day of running around with the other campers, following rote routines, making macrame bracelets, this nighttime ritual seemed like a gift.

While I do love the sun and the clouds, summer belongs to the night. After spending all day trying to dodge the heat and properly hydrate, at night we’re able to focus again, working on projects that stalled as the heat index rose. So often I’m up until almost sunrise, working on projects and research in the quiet that the nighttime provides, thankful for moments of serenity I can collect after a day of basking in the hothotheat.

I find myself working less and less on my knitting and spinning and devoting more time to my current cross-stitch and embroidery projects due to their being light and less heat-inducing. I am amazed at the way that the weather dictates my craft endeavours, without me even fully realizing it. Come September, I will gravitate back towards cozy wool and itch to work the spindle, leaving my summer projects in a semi-state of abandon until its time to pack up my winter wardrobe and unearth my t-shirts and flip flops.

I wish that my political work would also cease with the seasons, but I fear that I won’t be so fortunate. Still there will be mass injustices and wars that seem useless and people that I love embroiled in them. So no matter what the medium, the message behind the work never changes. Because inherent to its inception, craft is a political endeavour.

But for now, I will continue to work in the nighttime. Lucky enough to be able to currently choose the hours of my employ, lucky enough to be able to fully enjoy the cicadas and the fireflies and the moonlight filtering in through my windows. I just wish that everyone had the luxury and the safety to not worry about the next day’s travel to work even though that stiff upper lip is omnipresent.

It’s Friday! Again! Hot damn! Sometimes the days do sneak up on me, especially during the hothothot summer where it seems like everything is going to melt and blur like a work by Dali. The local kids, however, don’t seem to mind that the heat index is high and continue to run around the neighborhood laughing and playing and taking refuge in the nearby woods.

But…nonetheless, here are some links for this Friday in July, for a bit of work reprieve, even though there’s nothing I can do for the heat:

*I’m sure it’s hot wherever my friend Arthur is. He’s walking from London to Rome right now. And whatever he makes extra is going to charity. Go Arthur go!

*Even though it may seem calm, is it? See for yourself at Who Dies, Who Pays, Who Profits. Sobering, isn’t it?

*From Slate, I was amazed by The Art of War. There are no words, really, are there?

*When I grow up, I want to be Harmon Leon, I think.

*Collectives like esprit de corps inspire me to no end.

*Tired of sandwiches? The Bento moblog will have you dreaming of cute little lunches in cute little boxes.

*Kids rule. Especially their interpretations of idioms. Wow. I’ve been giggling all afternoon. I especially like this one.

*People do some amazing things. I have been amazed at the sites listed here, the honorary 2005 list for Prix Ars Electronica.

*Over at Knitty Gritty, you can read about a blanket project some amazing people are making as a tribute to a friend who was killed recently. Simply incredible and inspiring. More info here.

*And if you’re still not ready for the weekend, go discover some new music over at Fluxblog or Teaching the Indie Kids to Dance Again.